Sunday, October 31, 2004

copied: Words women use

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even swap.

NOTHING: This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not a word, but is a expression often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" .

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!: At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT: This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology! And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Friday, October 29, 2004

reading: alexei sayle - barcelona plates

alexei sayle - barcelona plates
alexei sayle - barcelona plates,
originally uploaded by stonz.
he's russian i think.
heard/ read good things about him.
after the first story, not too bad. quirky dark humour. (and the black merc he crashed into was "princess di"? well. from reading reviews) [+]

available from your closest national library of singapore. picked this copy from library@orchard.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

a word from our sponsor

ad for razrad for razrad for razr
click to enlarge

ads for razr,
originally uploaded by stonz.
today's blog entries is brought to you by bt's razr: it's coming....

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

rant: dammit. darth vader is not a F4 band member!

taken from here

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! here we go again.
george lucas trying to justify luke's wimpy roots
as a terminator once said: "girly-man!"

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rant: Ride the bus or train - and you might win a car

"TO REWARD its bus and train commuters, transport company SMRT is planning to give away a car. A Nissan March - minus certificate of entitlement, insurance and road tax - to be exact. It is the top prize in SMRT's inaugural Ride-for-Free Countdown promotion."
only in singapore.
to encourage public transport taking.... we give the top prize of a car. well, well... we have outdone all previous ironies.

"SMRT chief executive Saw Phaik Hwa said the promotion was to reward existing commuters and to encourage people to travel on SMRT's buses and trains."

here we go.... public transport is.... the consolation prize.
"The promotion ends in a grand draw on April 23, with the Nissan March as the top prize. Consolation prizes of a year's free travel on SMRT transport will be given to eight commuters."

and an open admission that "big brother is watching"; 1984 anyone?
what if my ezlink card is not tagged to my NRIC? does that make me a less loyal/ important customer? how are they gonna reward and encourage me?
"Launched yesterday, the promotion is on till April 11 next year. Commuters who make adult-fare trips on SMRT trains, buses and the Bukit Panjang Light Rail Transit (LRT) will have the numbers on their ez-link cards automatically entered into mini-draws. These draws will be held fortnightly at 1pm."

ST link need registration? try

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

quote: jobs

taken from gapingvoid

rant: sex & the city (& the neutered male)

older stuff from me.

Q: what's worse than watching a season of sex and the city?
A: watching your guy friend watching it.... and him giggling to himself.. and laughing out loud.

this series must be payback for all bad things that men have done...
episodes and episodes of whinny voices... it's like they figured out how to package nagging, digitize it and make sure every household buys a copy and just irritates the heck out of every "normal" human male.

BT's theory on why sex and the city is made for the female form (and neutered males)
5) every episode last 30 minutes. no storyline to follow.
talking on the phone while watching the dvd? no matter. A is still a bitch in the next 200 episodes; B is still the one looking for fairy tale love story.

4) whinny, nagging voices that repeats the same information.... think barney... it's a comfort zone. hey! no need to analyse. no complex storylines. 30 mins of ONE single issue.

3) just in case, someone STILL doesn't get the "issue", they have the narrator telling you EXACTLY what they want you to know. the summary at the end. simple.

2) see points 5, 4, 3

1) you are finally getting my point.

rant: the numbers game

older stuff from me.

so what's in a number?

....The Singapore Women's Weekly Readership Survey 2003, conducted by Nielsen Media Research with a sample size of 1000 respondents, most of which were women, found that 97% of its readers decided on or influenced decisions on holiday purchases, 96% decided or influenced decisions for purchases of home furnishing or furniture, 88% decided on or influenced decisions on home property purchases and 69% decided on or influenced car purchases....

wait a min.... how true is this? ask the men who read fhm, you will prob. get 99.9% of readers... the 0.1% were caught by their womenfolk while filling in the survey...(under threat and duress)

..... women influenced on all that?.... or is it a case of.... "so they think...."

rant: Singapore Fines GIC Staff For Insider Trading

sg yahoo news

"The fines are meted out under a civil penalty action, which does not attract criminal sanction. Under Singapore's new Securities and Futures Act, a person convicted of insider trading can be fined up to three times the profit or loss avoided by such trading."

"The MAS said it brought the insider trading action under a new civil penalty regime, which came into force at the beginning of 2004. A civil penalty does not attract criminal sanctions."

interesting. 18 months > beginning of 2004. how does that compute?

Monday, October 25, 2004

i'm back!

stonz' back.
ignore the "year" of the previous posting. i was only gone... for 5 days.

google a