Homeproud?
how homeproud can you be? watch out home appliances sellers, they are cheap, cheaper and cheapest....and comes with linkpoints.
Note to all parents: please add home-applicance-seller to the list of "careers-you-should-discourage-your-kids-to-have"

tommy cooper(s) of the day
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.


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Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."


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A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."


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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there
anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"


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"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"


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What's brown and sounds like a bell?


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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.


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"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"


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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up,And he said 'You've been promoted.'
And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.'
And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?'
And I said 'I careered off the road.


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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
"Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'


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Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round."
The other one says "so are you, you fat bast**d!"


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Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny
to you?"


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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.


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A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time" The man replied "I know I've been ill"


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A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said "well don't go there any more"


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My dog was barking at everyone the other day.
Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.


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I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got a bit frisky and decided to do something about it So we decided we'd take the next exit, but it was a turn-off.


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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.


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I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p month for the next 2 years.

joke of the day
The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Iraqi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do." The Iraqi whispers "My son watches this show "Star Trek" and in it there are Russians, and Africans, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Iraqi, and whispers back, "It's because it takes place in the future...."
just doing my part for world peace....cheers!